The First Month

Things that I now know to be true. Some I did know, some I didn’t, some I was under a false impression.

1. Baby poo isn’t that bad.
2. Changing a diaper is nowhere near as traumatic as I thought it would be. In fact, it’s pretty easy.
3. You don’t have to run to the baby if she cries. She won’t explode if she cries for a few seconds while you finish what you are doing.
4. Breast feeding is almost as traumatic for me as it is for both the baby and the mom.
5. Babies come in all sizes and all temperaments. What someone else’s baby did or does probably won’t apply to you.
6. Bath time can be fun for the whole family. As long as you don’t take crying or what appears to be nuclear level trauma personally.
7. Let sleeping babies lie.
8. Babies don’t breathe or do anything else like a normal person. They aren’t really people yet, stop freaking out.
9. It’s true that milk protein causes phlegm. Breast milk doesn’t but when protein formula will make your baby sound like an asthmatic hamster.
10. You don’t need to be afraid of holding the baby, act like you have a tray of draft beer or a football and you will be fine.
11. Watch the giant head, you need to be careful of the neck at all times, as funny as it may be when she headbutts you in the chest.
12. The cone head, as alien as it may be, will pass. Even if it is like a bullet in the beginning, don’t panic.
13. Don’t peek over the curtain during the c-section. There is nothing you need to see down there.
14. The baby rolls will come. Even if your baby is small to start, there is nothing you can do to stop them growing.
15. Fresh air = pee. Watch for this and don’t be so quick to pull that old diaper away.
16. Love your wife and child. Even if you can’t do anything else from fear, overwhelm or bad organization, the least you can do and the best you can do is love your new family.

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